The words screamed and echoed in my head. I saw them coming towards me with a solemn look on their faces. I started walking backwards waving my hands telling them no you’re NOT going to tell me that. The moment was surreal and too much to bear so I ran out of ICU and hid in the hospital corridor under a flight of concrete stairs and sobbed. I’m not sure how long I stayed there for, I really didn’t care. It was a safe place. I was alone that dark day.
The beginning of an ending and I knew it was time. With all the scenarios that went through my head, this was the ultimate one I had no idea about nor was I prepared to even consider. It was impossible to even contemplate a life without her. I mean, seriously, my head imploded every time I tried to think about it. How could she leave me?
I know I’m not the only one that has lost a loved one, nor will I be the last. Each loss has a story of love, laughter and pain. When you watch someone talk about their grief and loss you see a vacant look in their eyes as they recall the memories. In between the moments of tears, they laugh as they recall the good memories too.
Grief is a journey that is as unique as the love we experience. We all lose ourselves in the pain and the sorrow, the frustration, guilt and anger. There is very little that takes the edge off it in the beginning, every moment is a trigger. After all, how dare the world go on as if nothing has altered? When your own world has changed so much in a split second, how can everyone else just carry on.
As with everything, there is always a bigger picture in motion. My journey was about to make a dramatic change into a new world. The world of mediumship, Spirit and the metaphysical. Of course, her death was the catalyst for this to happen. I see that now. I was meant to be here, on this path and her journey ending here was a beginning of another one for me. From that moment to this day, the world of mediumship opened up and threw me onto the path I was meant to be on.
Does being a medium make it easier, I am asked this question quite often. No, of course it doesn’t, after all we are also human. However, what I have gained is a deeper insight into the work of Spirit and how transitions into the Spirit world work. My own experiences during Spirit communication, are that I am deeply humbled by the sacredness of the communication that occurs. Being a part of bringing people together provides peace for everyone involved. I send out thanks to everyone involved and acknowledge what has happened, after all it is a gift.
When we lose someone, one of the biggest things we struggle with is the love we feel for that person. What do we do with it now that they have gone? The love doesn’t just disappear does it. It’s as if the physical person has gone but all of the emotions for them have no where to go. The mind becomes irrational and so begins the confused emotions. It’s like a premature umbilical cord has been cut.
Wherever you are at in your grief, just remember this.
Love is eternal, it isn’t gone. When you lose someone continue loving and keep sending it out. When our loved ones transition, they also experience a period of grief too. Send them love and keep the communication open. Knowing that they are safe, no longer in pain and ok is sometimes all we need to know. This is quite often; the most common message they give when I am passing on messages as a medium during Spirit communication readings. This in itself, is one of the most powerful messages that can be given by loved ones in Spirit especially where there has been trauma or illness.
As another anniversary goes by, I take time to reflect on the day she left this earth plane and left us all to go on her own adventure. I’m glad I no longer feel like the one she left behind.
2 June 2000
Happy birthday to me 😊
Happy birthday to me 😊
I have a rule for birthdays. Celebrate. I make the whole month of my birthday named ‘my birthday month’ for a reason.
It's about self love, self care and nurturing the time when I chose to be born and entered the earth plane. Don’t wait for someone else to make it special. make it special yourself. By all means include people in the celebration but what I’m saying is, don’t make it all about how others make you feel.
I was born into my family as a third daughter, culturally a burden and reminded of that my whole life. My birthday wasn’t celebrated with joy, it was a forgotten day of insignificance.
At least that was the story back then. In my present it’s the opposite. Whilst the transition to celebration was a journey in itself, it was also a healing one.
As a big believer of self love and self care I spend my birthday month doing the things I love most during the whole month. That’s not to say I don’t do these things all the time, just not condensed into a single month.
I also spend time preparing for the transition that is taking place in my vibration. My spiritual growth and personal development is a time of shedding and removing an old skin to allow the shifts to materialise.
Numerologically, the vibrational change on our birthday marks the beginning of a new year as we climb up the ladder of our individual 9 year cycle. It’s exciting ! We have a theme for the year and I love welcoming in the new focus for me.
So as I sit in contemplation of the year that’s past, I sit with the anticipation of another adventure 😊. Oh and did you know all the Queens were born in May 🤷🏻♀️😅.
So what’s actually happening when we have a full moon?
We know there is energy from both the Sun and the Moon. At the time of a full Moon their position is completely opposite each other and creates a kind of resistance. A little bit like when you hold two magnets back to back!
An intense energy is created because our external world (the Sun) and internal world (the Moon) also becomes highlighted and we are pulled to balancing our two worlds. The Moon (Mother) also represents our emotions, intuition, past feelings and hurts.
The inner spirit and ego / unconscious mind become challenged to be authentic and real as the internal aspects of ourselves are illuminated.
So, unresolved emotions and hurts come up, we feel a little bit edgy and emotional. What happens generally is that people do not take this time monthly to be aware of our psyche’s natural healing cycle. It’s like bin day! Don’t ignore it.
Imagine every month nature is giving you the opportunity to clear out things and it’s time to resolve or heal. Your psyche is saying hey remember that things that’s been bothering you? It’s time to address it so let’s do it! Remember you’re never given more than you can handle and everything is in line for your growth.
So, this coming full moon is a Super Moon in Gemini. A Super Moon is more intense energy as the Moon is closer to Earth than normal. At the same time Mercury, the planet of communication goes into retrograde until 23rd December.
In Greek mythology, Mercury is the messenger of the Gods and was the only person allowed to venture into the underworld and come out again.
Symbolically, suggesting that we have a free pass into the deeper, darker aspects of our psyche. Remember the ego, negative thoughts, patterns and behaviour we accumulate in life can all be changed. This is where our growth is. Otherwise it’s pointless having these emotional highs and lows every month right?
Top 7 things to do to manage the Super Full Moon & Mercury retrograde:
1. Be aware - raise your awareness through mediation or meditative practices like yoga. Ask yourself what’s happening to me emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.
2. Reflect - journal keeping is a must to get out of your head and scribble down all of those negative thoughts that are coming up. Remember your psyche is giving you clues on what to pay attention to.
3. Time out - use this space to take a step back from making big decisions or entering into agreements. Mercury retrograde is about communication so it’s not a good time to enter into new things so use the time to sort and clear space whether it’s physical, me a or emotional. This will allow space for new things post retrograde and the coming new year.
4. Resistance - check in with yourself what am I resisting ? Resistance is a sign of conflict and triggers that need addressing. The Super Full Moon will illuminate these.
5. Ask - if you don’t ask you don’t receive! So ask the Universe to guide you through this time when you are meditating or feeling overwhelmed.
6. Let go - when things are highlighted let them go. Allow healing to enter your life. Remember we all have aspects of ourselves we don’t like. We are only human after all.
7. Restart, transform & grow - remind yourself that this is the purpose of the process. It’s only going to get better and you are creating an upgraded version of you 🙏🏼😇.
So is December 3rd significant?
It’s also coming to the end of 2017 and numerologically we are also entering a new vibration. 2017 was a 1 year. 2018 will be a 2 year .... more to come on what that means next week!
Check out my latest insight into the intuitive journey on the Secrets in the Garden website. I was chatting with the team as we are preparing for next year's event April 2018. It will be here before you know it :)
You often hear that attachment is the root of all our problems. Learning to detach in a healthy way takes practice and is a learnt skill. Many people do this in an unhealthy way and often mistake disassociating and blocking for detachment.
All this creates is a mentality of denial, blocks and hiding the problem so there becomes 'no problem' to the person. If you don’t already know when you have done this, most of us have experienced this in others where you can see the problem being denied and the other person just can't see it or refuses to see it.
How familiar are the statements 'well this is me', 'I can't change' or if my change means 'x' then I don't want it'.
We have all heard people justify why they've done this and as a Mindset Coach and Medium, all I hear is: excuse, belief system wall, challenge, comfort zone violation and oops!! occasionally a three sixty sprint back to where they came from where it was warm and cozy sitting in their 'stuff'.
Relationships are a major part of our growth. Everyone of us is in a relationship of some sort. Surprisingly people do not always consider family and friends as sources of relationship growth and quite often only look at romantic relationship in this way.
Applying the principal that how you operate in one relationship is how you will operate in all relationships is a good starting point.
So how do you balance healthy attachment / detachment?
1. You cannot lose what you don't have.
No one owns anyone. We are born alone and will leave this plane alone. The journey is about who we meet along the way and what we learn. Everyone is a teacher.
2. No one can guarantee anything with anyone.
The myth of 'forever' is a societal and often a cultural belief. When a relationship ends tragedy strikes and this can be a painful process. Learn to be in the present with all people you are connected to.
3. Everything is temporary.
Nothing is permanent. Even life. One day it will all be gone. Sometimes slowly. Sometimes in a flash. Focussing on what you have had or could have leads to missing out on everything happening in the now and present. That classic statement 'if this were my last moment what would I do' could in fact be true.
4. To trust more and to be open.
How many really do this? Fear holds everyone back and it takes courageous action to really overcome this one. Receive the incredible gift of a person in your life. Not just romantically but in whatever shape or form it happens.
5. Give without the expectation of receiving.
Receive without the expectation of giving. That's unconditional. We have grown up in a society where we feel the need to be of service, a martyr or so duty bound to family, culture or religion that we have forgotten what it is like to be an individual.
6. Be vulnerable.
Vulnerability isn't a weakness neither is showing and acknowledging emotions. We have a right to feel anything we want to. We are quite often told how we should feel or there is an expectation of how we should respond in situations. Our reaction causes the other person to respond ie there's an emotional charge or a button has been pushed. What does this cause? A cycle of back peddling, denying your feelings and retreating to appease the person being challenged.
A bit of a game I guess. However, reactions are still interactions between people in relationships. The fact that they are viewed as negative or an argument is the problem not the feeling being expressed.
7. Be fully present to yourself and your own power.
That's the beauty of children. They are fearless up to a point that is. Give with the fullness of your heart like a child that has no fear.
8. Accept that people will come and go.
Everything in life is a cycle. If something comes into your life, know at some point it will leave in some form. This is part of growth and evolution.
9. Pain is only temporary.
It's not forever. When you’re in it remember this one, it will help bring you back into the present. Whatever it is that is causing you pain at whatever level, look beyond the pain and ask why has it shown up in your life?
10. Apply wisdom not logic.
Be wise enough to understand that everything is in the context of a bigger picture that hasn't emerged for you yet. When you trust that and hold it as your vision, your perspective changes.
Of course it's human to expect.
And with that comes hurt and disappointment
Pick yourself up.
And no matter what happens don't ever stop trusting.
And most of all.... Have hope and faith. Without that there is nothing.
After embarking on my own journey (which later become somewhat of an epic one) in search of answers on life after death and spirituality, I discovered intuition and it's relevance in my life.
Coming from a line of Mediums and Healers that had skipped a whole generation AND all of my own family line I was starting to feel a huge amount of self impose genealogical pressure.
We hear so much about spirituality and how important it is, but adopting spiritual practices in everyday life often very difficult. We make excuses that we don’t have time and if we do begin a practice, we then feel guilty when we don't keep it up.
A classic case of 'am I good enough?' and 'do I dare to shine in my brilliance?'.
This quickly led me to pursuing mindset and behavioural training and looking at why we do the things we do - our wiring and programming is so critical and linked to how our intuition unfolds.
Intuition becomes clearer when mental chatter is cleared and one becomes mindful.
But if your self talk overrides intuition all of the time what can we do to break the pattern.
Using myself as the basis of all my learnings and trainings I developed. I adopted the philosophy of if I can do it so can you - nothing is impossible!
Here are 10 of the biggest discoveries I have had whilst on this amazing journey of teaching and guiding others to discovering their spiritual journey and unfolding their intuition:
1. Everyone IS different and not everyone's intuition will work the same way. We become too busy looking at how other people achieve and do things rather than focus on ourselves. What's our wiring? Not to be selfish of course.
2. Comparing yourself to others is like comparing an apple and an orange - literally! Our processing systems determine how we intuit. Neurologically our brain will process information unique to us. Comparing is pointless but we are wired to fit in all of the time.
3. Stepping into our own power is the scariest thing I have witnessed - there are almost always tears. Stepping into our brilliance is a real challenge and our wiring is all about don't speak up and don't be your authentic self. We are often made to feel inadequate, held back or powerless.
4. Self judgement, blame and shame holds us all back. No matter who you are being true to yourself is often a challenge as we are made to feel guilty and selfish is we self love and self nurture.
5. As much as we would like to think otherwise, we are our harshest critics. Our self talk stops us from growing, living and feeling joy in life.
6. Self love and self nurturing is the hardest nut to crack. We feel guilty sitting down and doing nothing for 10 minutes. The key to growth is valuing yourself enough to put yourself first. Finding the balance between selflessness and selfishness is a fine line and quite often a challenge.
7. Not many people can connect to themselves. Instead, they stay in their head and logical mind because they perceive it as safer. Opening yourself up with an open heart is scary and most people will betray themselves over and over again. Mindset and wiring is the cause and can be undone once you decide you value yourself enough to.
8. Dipping into the emotions and heart centre is so scary for some people it physically causes pain.
I have watched my coaching clients literally squirming in agony and pain when they have started to make the shift from the head to the heart and start opening up their intuition. The challenge takes courage and bravery!
9. When you let go and release all the drama and drama queens in your life there's a point when you look in the mirror and realise “ there's no one else to blame”.
So many of us blame family, ex's, work, bosses and anyone one else for the reason they 'can't do' they start believing their own story.
There comes a point where there is no-one but the you in the mirror and you realise the buck stops here.
Accountability and responsibility for change sits with only one person. You. Make a commitment. Take action.
10. Accepting yourself wholly, just as you are, is one of the hardest things to do. Many coaches and personal development focus on our light side and not our shadow. After all who wants to own their 'bad behaviours'!
It takes guts to sit and look at yourself in totality light and shadow and heal. You can't beat your shadow with a stick it's like a child having a tantrum and needs enough nurturing as your light side.
As I watch the unraveling begin I see all of this and so much more in people I work with. The beauty shows and the realisations happen, as soon as the acceptance and acknowledgement is detached and the person looks inside. And so begins the transformation!