The words screamed and echoed in my head. I saw them coming towards me with a solemn look on their faces. I started walking backwards waving my hands telling them no you’re NOT going to tell me that. The moment was surreal and too much to bear so I ran out of ICU and hid in the hospital corridor under a flight of concrete stairs and sobbed. I’m not sure how long I stayed there for, I really didn’t care. It was a safe place. I was alone that dark day.
The beginning of an ending and I knew it was time. With all the scenarios that went through my head, this was the ultimate one I had no idea about nor was I prepared to even consider. It was impossible to even contemplate a life without her. I mean, seriously, my head imploded every time I tried to think about it. How could she leave me?
I know I’m not the only one that has lost a loved one, nor will I be the last. Each loss has a story of love, laughter and pain. When you watch someone talk about their grief and loss you see a vacant look in their eyes as they recall the memories. In between the moments of tears, they laugh as they recall the good memories too.
Grief is a journey that is as unique as the love we experience. We all lose ourselves in the pain and the sorrow, the frustration, guilt and anger. There is very little that takes the edge off it in the beginning, every moment is a trigger. After all, how dare the world go on as if nothing has altered? When your own world has changed so much in a split second, how can everyone else just carry on.
As with everything, there is always a bigger picture in motion. My journey was about to make a dramatic change into a new world. The world of mediumship, Spirit and the metaphysical. Of course, her death was the catalyst for this to happen. I see that now. I was meant to be here, on this path and her journey ending here was a beginning of another one for me. From that moment to this day, the world of mediumship opened up and threw me onto the path I was meant to be on.
Does being a medium make it easier, I am asked this question quite often. No, of course it doesn’t, after all we are also human. However, what I have gained is a deeper insight into the work of Spirit and how transitions into the Spirit world work. My own experiences during Spirit communication, are that I am deeply humbled by the sacredness of the communication that occurs. Being a part of bringing people together provides peace for everyone involved. I send out thanks to everyone involved and acknowledge what has happened, after all it is a gift.
When we lose someone, one of the biggest things we struggle with is the love we feel for that person. What do we do with it now that they have gone? The love doesn’t just disappear does it. It’s as if the physical person has gone but all of the emotions for them have no where to go. The mind becomes irrational and so begins the confused emotions. It’s like a premature umbilical cord has been cut.
Wherever you are at in your grief, just remember this.
Love is eternal, it isn’t gone. When you lose someone continue loving and keep sending it out. When our loved ones transition, they also experience a period of grief too. Send them love and keep the communication open. Knowing that they are safe, no longer in pain and ok is sometimes all we need to know. This is quite often; the most common message they give when I am passing on messages as a medium during Spirit communication readings. This in itself, is one of the most powerful messages that can be given by loved ones in Spirit especially where there has been trauma or illness.
As another anniversary goes by, I take time to reflect on the day she left this earth plane and left us all to go on her own adventure. I’m glad I no longer feel like the one she left behind.
2 June 2000